How to write cold outreach that gets replies
A cold message has about one line to prove it isn’t spam. The messages that get answered are short, specific and true. Here’s a structure that works, with examples.
6 min read · Updated · KijaniHub
A four-line structure
- Something true and specific about them (from their website, listing or page).
- What you offer, in one sentence, connected to that fact.
- One piece of proof or detail that makes it concrete.
- One easy question.
Example
“Habari Dr. Mushi — I saw Bahari Dental’s website takes bookings by phone only. We set up WhatsApp booking for clinics, so patients can book at night without a call. It works on your current number. Would a two-minute demo on WhatsApp help?”
Mistakes that get messages deleted
- “Hi Dr.,” — a title with no name looks like a mail merge gone wrong. If you don’t know the name, greet the business.
- Compliments that could fit anyone: “I love what you’re doing.”
- Claims you can’t back up: “Your competitors are all using this.”
- Three questions and a calendar link in the first message.
- Long paragraphs. If it doesn’t fit on a phone screen, it’s too long.
Personalisation that’s actually personal
Personal doesn’t mean using their first name. It means showing you know one true thing about their business that makes your offer relevant. One fact is enough; three looks like surveillance.
This is the hardest part to scale by hand, and the part KijaniHub’s outreach is built around: it reads each business’s website, writes from what it found and refuses to send a message with a claim it can’t back up.
Follow up once, politely
Many replies come after a reminder. Three or four days later, send two lines that add something — a short example, a price, a photo — rather than “just checking in”. Then stop. More on this in how to follow up automatically.